Tag: PREGNANCY

NICU/ICN Week 9

NICU/ICN Week 9

by Diana Lindsley ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

This week we found out that our daughter had a low red blood cell count and needed some iron to help. This was kind of good news… here is what I mean by that.

Lilly has been very sleepy and lethargic. This makes it hard for her to actually work on feedings and learning how to eat like a newborn. In order for her to eat, she has to be awake/alert. Spencer and I were worried and communicated this to her doctors during rounds last week.

The doctors told us that it was very normal for her to be this sleepy given she was a preemie and “we are asking so much of them already” as the doctor put it. My motherly instinct told me that something else was happening and that we should ask again with more persistance.

The doctors decided to do a full blood panel and they found out that she had a low count which I believe came from me. I am anemic. Regardless, now we know what the problem is and how to fix it! Which brings me to our next achievement.

2 months old!

Lilly has been waking up a little bit more, enough to work on breastfeeding and bottle feeding! On Tuesday she tried breastfeeding and she was latched the entire time and she got milk! So she didn’t have to get any milk through her tube!

Today when Spencer and I arrived at her 11 am care, we found the nurse feeding her through the bottle and she was almost done! Spencer took over and Lilly and papi worked together and she finished her feed! her feeding has become a bit more mature and she is pacing herself. No events either!

We are making very small progress, but it is progress indeed. Lilly also has been gaining weight and she has grown in size! 6lbs 12.5oz of deliciousness! She almost looks like a newborn now and we are very much in love!!

To other parents with babies in the NICU: This week we also brought in some items that we had at home ready for her. A pillow to prevent flat head syndrome, her personal bibs, her boppy for nursing, and her receiving blankets to act as linens for her hospital crib.  **YOU CAN MAKE THE NICU YOUR HOME AWAY FROM HOME ** This has helped us feel like home is wherever she is and not just a stationary place that seems so distant and unachieveable.

YOU GOT THIS! Its not easy, but then again, nothing that is worthwhile is easy to build or find.

Our view from Lilly’s room.
NICU Week 3

NICU Week 3

by Diana Lindsley ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

The miracle week! Little did we know that we were going to be able to see so many advancements in such a little amount of time. We always said that we were not going to be too hopeful just in case things didn’t turn out good at all. This time, hope and excitement won the battle.

Every week for Lilly begins on Thursdays since she was born that day. At the beginning of this week, my husband and I were at home. It was around 5 A.M. and I had just pumped while my hubby was waking up for work, and we decided to call our little one at the NICU. Being far away from her can be emotionally draining, and calling to get some sort of report on how she did during the night gives us peace of mind and closure.

This call was a very special one. The nurse told us that our little girl had been regulating her temperature very well and the doctor deemed her ready to transition from the incubator to a hospital crib. My ears could not believe what I heard and my heart nearly exploded from how full it felt. The good news did not stop there though…

She was ready to wear regular clothes! Oh my! how much did I wish I could dress up my little cutie like a doll. My wishes are probably so silly to the regular mom that brings her baby home day one, but that call reminded me that wishes do come true.

My hubby and I made the effort to go and see her after he clocked out of work, and we spent the evening with her. We got to dress her for the first time, change her diaper, and provide the regualr care that she gets every three hours. We then got to hold her like a real baby. I know this must sound like I am crazy, but we had never had the chance to do so because she would get too cold.

My eyes were filled with tears and my body felt complete as I held my not so little one in my arms; She looked so much older than the last time I saw her.

Lilly has grown and surprised everyone that accidentally falls into her fan group, which is just about everyone. Specially her grandparents on my side of the family. My mother has been helping us since the day I went into labor, and my dad and sister joined us this week so as to help us during this recovery process. They helped us finish the nursery and set up a plan to easily transition into parenthood for when Lilly gets to come home. We are BLESSED indeed.

It Pours – ER #2

It Pours – ER #2

by Diana Lindsley ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

ER TRIP #2

August 12th 2020.

Shortly after being discharged from my first trip to the ER, I found myself under the same fluorescent lights.

Wednesday night the same week after Visit #1, I started to feel a little lethargic and moody again. My mom picked up my signs right away and asked me if I was okay. I brushed off her concern thinking she was just being a mom. Little did I know that mothers have a perfect gift. They know their children inside and out even if they haven’t seen them in a while. Mothers do know best.

I went to the bathroom after I felt like some blood had passed; a little too much for my current normal flow. I soon discovered something that scared me to my core. I had passed a very large blood clot. The postpartum nurses at the hospital told me to make sure that they clot wasn’t bright red. It wasn’t at first.

Withing 30 minutes, my body was having actual contractions and several bright red blood clots the size of my hand. I have pretty big hands. The terror settled in and I started to sob uncontrolably. I called in my mother and  my husband into the bathroom to make sure I wasn’t over reacting. Their reactions let me know it was serious. To the ER we went.

ONE HOUR in a bumpy car ride to the hospital was enought to physically drain me. Every clot that was about to pass felt like I was crowning. After checking in and being brought to triage, we finally got an exam room.

What happened next helped me understand why some women may be inclined to never had kids again.

The OB team of doctors showed up shortly after the nurse whose care I was in saw the size of the clots I was passing. She started an I.V. and drew my blood. I am pretty sure i’ve had about six I.V.s and one PICC line in the past three weeks.  The doctors did a couple more speculum vaginal exams and saw that I had necrotic left over tissue from when I gave birth.

Dialation and curettage with added sucction AKA torture:

Essentially, the doctors used a speculum to open up a canal through my cervix and to my uterus so that they could pull out any tissue with special instruments. You are awake, and no anesthesia is used. This procedure can be quick or it can be about two hours long. Luckily for me, I got the two hours long one.

After labored breathing and what it seemed like the beginning of a painful death, the doctor got the tissue out succesfully. I was relieved the procedure worked and we didn’t have to deal with the worst case scenario; a hysterectomy.

My body did what I didn’t think it could. The amount of pain I felt was beyond giving birth, breaking a bone, or anything I’ve ever felt. When my adrenaline started to fade away and my body started to feel all the after effects of it, it decided to give me a break by fainting. My amazing husband acted in a timely manner and helped me out as best as he could. I woke up to his beautiful eyes and I felt peace.

The discharge was quick, and the ride home painless. I am thankful for how far medicine and technology has come. It has saved my life.

Going throught this experience and knowing the posibilities of it happening again would traumatize even the strongest women. Would I have kids again? yes, yes I would.

To be honest, my husband and I had such desire to be pregnant and such a hard time conceiving, that I would go through as much as my body could take to be able to grow even more as a family. Our Lilly has been nothing short of amazing and the best blessing. Doing this and powering through for her has been a journey I will never forget. I have grown as a mother, daughter, wife, and human being. My limits have expanded and I’ve finally found my strength.

When It Rains – ER #1

When It Rains – ER #1

by Diana Lindsley ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I feel like everyone at some point, if not many times in their life, has dealt with a bad situation that transpires into many more before it gets better. Maybe together we can share our experiences and grow! Here are mine…

ER TRIP #1

Two weeks after giving birth, everything felt quite normal. Vaginal bleeding was regular, cramping and pain was not bad. I was enjoying the routine I had with pumping and sleeping and eating. To be honest I was taking care of myself more than i’ve had in many years. It felt good.

The beginning of the week strolled by and things got worst. I was visiting Lilly at the NICU and while having some skin to skin time, I started to feel quite lethargic. I called the nurse and let her know that I wasn’t feeling too good and that I wanted to put Lilly back in her incubator. She helped me out and took care of her for me.

I was hungry and a little sweaty and thought that finding some food would be beneficial for me. I was wrong. The walk from the NICU to the cafeteria seemed like the longest and most difficult walk of my life. My head was spinnning and it felt like I had a UTI. I was worried and I called my mother to let her know that I needed to head to an urgent clinic.

When we arrived, I was having such a hard time walking that I had to use a wheelchair. They did some tests and determined that it was a UTI, but something else wrong, enough to make the doctors send me to an ER. My mom drove to the hospital and I got admitted with sepsis (a life threatening infection) in my uterus. My family and I spent the entire night from Monday to Tuesday getting treatment.

Treatment wasn’t easy. I had many speculum exams, ultrasounds, I.V. fluids, and pills to take. Before I was discharged they did a COVID-19 swab to top of the amount of pain I was in. In between all of this, I had to find time for pumping. My breasts were rocks and massaging those lumps hurt like no other.

The biggest blessings were knowing I had gotten the best treatment posible, my amazing family showed nothing but support and love, and my strenght was more than what I thought I had.

The story didnt stop there though, and it only got worse…

The First Trimester

The First Trimester

by Diana Lindsley ♥ 1 Comment

I honestly thought it wasn’t that bad… up until it was.

When we first found out we were pregnant, we could not believe it. I had started to take some medicine and vitamins to help with infertility and my PCOS diagnosis. I didn’t think that my body would take to it so well, but it did!

We had spent the past six or so months trying and trying to get pregnant. We used up most of our money on pregnancy tests, fertility lube, and ovulation and pregancy strip tests. It was nerve wrecking and stressful, which is the opposite of how conceiving should be. We were just trying our best.

We were hesistant to get excited since our previous experience had been a little traumatic and hard to get over. The thought of having a little one quickly filled our hearts and without wanting to, we felt so much joy!

To be honest with you, sometimes it was hard to actually feel pregnant and find some sort of connection with the little one we were hoping to meet in eight-ish months. My pregnancy symptoms finally started to show up and all of my worries and doubts melted away.

Ceasar salads, chicken noodle soup, a goldfish crackers.

There was nothing else my body would consume. Even water was hard to swallow. My experience with food aversions was horrible. It was so hard to see, smell, and even think about any other types of food without insantly throwing up or gagging.

I lost nearly twenty pounds and developed Anemia. Pedialyte became my best friend as I was severily dehydrated, so much that I had to go to an urgent care and get two bags of I.V. fluids. It didnt even take that long for my body to suck those down.

My mood started to vary depending on what my nose could pick up that day (which was quite a lot), and my appetite decided to remain the same throughout the entire trimester. UGH..

It was not always bad.

My husband and I had so much fun planning how to share the news with our family and friends! We enjoyed this new sense of intimacy as we realized that the baby that was growing in my belly, was conceived with so much love and hope. We already loved our little one.