What a bittersweet time. Seeing you baby girl learning to breathe, eat, and regulate her body temperature inside of a little incubator is heartbreaking and so rewarding at the same time.

I cried every day that I walked into the room when my husband and I visited our little one, and delivered some breast milk. Some tears came from the crazy amount of guilt I felt after seeing her there, all hooked up with wires and a respirator. Some other tears sprouted from knowing she made me a mom and I could not be luckier to have a great team taking care of such a special little angel. Regardless, there were always tears involved.

Our little one surprised us Daily! After two days of being in this world, she came off of the respirator and graduated to a CPAP at the highest level possible to help her breathe. At five or so days, she no longer needed the photo light therapy to help her decrease her bilirubin levels. Her CPAP level decreased (meaning she is breathing on her own without so much help) and she was tolerating her feeds without any throw up. Her belly is getting used to my milk!!!

She has opened her eyes and started getting fussy. We are so in love!

Yesterday, at one full week of being outside of my tummy, she graduated from micro preemie diapers to regular preemie diapers! She pooped almost in our hands as we were changing her diaper and we could not have been prouder!

Now I know all these might seem like nothing to some, but to us every little achievement and goal reached is a giant milestone; a step closer to taking her home healthy, chunky, and happy.

Most days I wake up and feel the emptiness of my home. I was expecting to be woken up by a crying baby or the smell of a dirty diaper. Instead, I wake up because my breasts are way too full and I HAVE to pump or because the pain of missing my newborn babe hurts too much.

If there is one thing that I could take from this week, is how thankful I am for a village that takes care of me and my family. My mom traveled form afar to care for me during and after birth, and my in laws spent the entire time sending food and art supplies. My dad and sister have shown nothing but support and our friends have done nothing but send good vibes and offered help.

Having a village is so very important, and if you don’t have one don’t worry, I can be your village.

Next week we hope to grow emotionally as much as she has physically! our little feisty warrior has become a beacon of light for anyone she has met so far.